Prayer for the Grace of Letting Go
At Mass today, Fr Santos reflected on a great prayer:
Loving God, I give you thanks for having called me to this great and wonderful adventure called seminary life.
While my heart is filled with joy and my spirit with great excitement, I am slowly discovering that this path I have chosen asks that I give up many things which have already become part of my life.
And let me be honest with you, I’m not finding it easy at all.
It is not always easy to let go of what I’ve gotten used to, Lord.
It’s difficult to let go of late night outings with my friends instead of studying.
It’s difficult to let go of mornings when I can stay in bed instead of going to prayer.
It’s difficult to let go of the good food I enjoy at home.
It’s difficult to let go of the freedom to go wherever and do whatever I please.
It’s difficult to let go of my friends, especially that girl whom I like so much.
It’s difficult to let go of those moments when I choose to be by myself instead of having to deal with others in community.
It’s difficult to let go of my biases, prejudices, and ideas that give me comfort and security.
It’s difficult to let go of many more things, old habits really die hard.
This new life scares me at times too.
How do I know all this letting-go will bear fruit?
How do I know that giving up all these things will result in my becoming happy with the path I have chosen?
How do I know that letting go of my former ambitions and dreams will really allow me to give my life entirely to you?
How do I know that all this sacrifice will make a good priest out of me?
How do I know that I will not fall later on and cause pain and sorrow to your church?
How do I know that this is your will for me and not something I merely imagine?
Speak, Lord, your servant listens.
Let me put my trust completely in you.
Allow me to see that though the initial stage of my journey
may be dark, difficult, and uncertain,
your presence is more that enough to calm my fears,
to lighten my burden, and to give me the strength and courage
to stick to this path that I have chosen,
in the firm conviction that you who have called me asked me
to let go of many things that have given comfort and security to my life
will give me in their stead, the greatest consolation there can be:
the knowledge that wherever I go, whatever happens, whomever I become,
you will always be there to love, guide, and protect me.
— Amen.
beast of burden + men are right + Unknown God + body theology
MASS – (Fr Michael) — today’s Mass intention was for Pope Benedict XVI, very appropriately with the Gospel reading of Jesus telling Peter to “Feed My Sheep.” The story behind the significance of the Corbinian Bear on the Pope’s coat of arms (upper right) was told. According to the background on Saint Corbinian (a Frankish bishop), a bear killed his pack horse on his way to Rome so the saint commanded the bear to carry his load. Pope Benedict XVI first adopted the symbol when, still known as Joseph Ratzinger, he was appointed Archbishop of Freising-Munich in March of 1977. He retained the bear in his revised coat of arms when becoming Cardinal in the same year and when elected to Pope in 2005. In addition to the obvious reference back to St. Corbinian, the founder of the diocese where Benedict was bishop, the bear represents Benedict himself being “tamed by God” as a “beast of burden” to bear the spiritual burdens of Benedict’s own ministries first as bishop, then as cardinal, and now as pope.
AQUINAS – (Fr Vallee) — more on Modernity and the extremes of Rationalism (reason) & Fideism (faith). Nature + supernature. Grace + nature. Samuel Taylor Coleridge quote: “Most men are right in what they affirm, and wrong in what they deny.”
CONTEMPORARY PHIL – (Fr Santos) — opening quiz on reading of Kierkegaard‘s “Equilibrium between the Aesthetic & the Ethical” in his book Either/Or. Introduced “inauthentic existence,” “radical subjectivity,” “disolving into a mutitude,” and self as “task” & “a dynamic process.”
MEDIEVAL PHIL – (Fr Vallee) — reviewed Stoicism and reflected on St Paul in Athens (Acts 17), especially his approach to preaching the gospel message among the Greeks of his time about their statue to the “Unknown God.”
MINISTERIAL METHODS – (Fr Michael) — “Classroom Management.”
RECTOR’s CONFERENCE – (Fr Michael) — usually on Thursday, this was an exceptional day since this Thursday we’re hosting the seminarians from the St Vincent’s Major Seminary in Boyton Beach, FL. Today’s topic was (part 2 of 3) on the Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body.
DOTS — night walk — Superman Returns — busy day
Spiderman & Venom
I saw “Spiderman 3“ today, all 2.5 hours of light-speed CGI fight scenes separated by long relationship breaks and some cheesy musical dance numbers by Tobey Maguire. Not being a really big Spiderman fan, I found Venom to be an very interesting character that I knew little about. As an alien symbiote organism that needs to bond and feed off a living host, it gives the host enhanced physical abilities, at the cost of fatally draining them of adrenaline, eventually killing the host. This particular parasite (attached to Spiderman), however, wants to bond with its host instead. It seems to feed off Spiderman’s weaknesses, anger and revenge, and multiplies its devastating, yet tempting (at times) effects. The rejection of the symbiote leave it extremely bitter toward Spiderman, a trait it shares with its future hosts. The movie’s byline reads “the greatest battle lies within.”
What I saw was an extreme visual for our own “dark-sides,” manifested in Venom, who exploits our weaknesses because we’ve fed and allowed it to grow for so long. I don’t know if that’s the intention of the character, but I couldn’t help but connect Venom with deep-rooted sin that’s ignored and allowed to grow. If we could only “see” what our sins do to others, ourselves and, above all, our Savior, we would run to cross in humble submission to His grace & mercy. In ministry, demonstrating that in love & mercy is not done through our own ability, but through our own submission to the “Anti-Venom” that we invite everyday (not just one conversion experience) as a light to our darkness.
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